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Last night the boy and I decided to go to the movies. Well, he decided to he wanted to go and I said yes. We looked to see what was playing at our local and found only two movies that we’d even heard of: New Moon and 2012. We went with 2012 because I didn’t think a teenage vampire flick was really to the boy’s taste.
This movie was made by the same man who did Independence Day, which is one of my favourite world-is-ending disaster movies, so I had high hopes for 2012. Unfortunately, my hopes were dashed.
The basic premise: divorced father-of-two Jackson Curtis is spending the weekend camping with his two children, in an attempt to reconnect with them. They travel to Yellowstone National Park to find the spot where Jackson used to camp with his former wife, but discover a fenced-off government installation in the same place. Scientist Adrian somebody-or-other is there testing the temperature of the earth’s core, which apparently is turning liquid (first flaw: the earth’s core is actually liquid right now). This liquification is caused by some type of neuron thing being sent out from solar flares from the sun, which are becoming bigger and bigger. A scientist in India discovered it because the water in his well is now boiling. The government decides to not tell the world, and meanwhile build four enormous “arks” for people to take refuge in when Armageddon happens. In China, in the Himalayas, because obviously that’s the best place for them.
So yadda yadda the worst happens, faster than anyone predicted, the hero and his kids and ex-wife and her new boyfriend all drive to Las Vegas airport where they find a Russian tycoon and his Antonov 500 plane which just happens to be the only plane that can fly and they head toward China and the arks. The plane crashes, they are rescued by a local monk whose brother works on the arks and has a plan to get them secretly on board, disasters happen, people die, there’s a moving speech by the scientist when one of the arks breaks and 100,000 people are about be left behind, the ark crashes into Mt Everest, our hero survives, and by this stage I just wanted everyone to shut up already and just DIE!
Honestly, the only good thing about this movie was that it eventually ended.
That’s nearly three hours I’m never getting back in my life.