Weekend Movie Review: 2012

Last night the boy and I decided to go to the movies.  Well, he decided to he wanted to go and I said yes.  We looked to see what was playing at our local and found only two movies that we’d even heard of: New Moon and 2012.  We went with 2012 because I didn’t think a teenage vampire flick was really to the boy’s taste.

This movie was made by the same man who did Independence Day, which is one of my favourite world-is-ending disaster movies, so I had high hopes for  2012.  Unfortunately, my hopes were dashed.

2012 Movie Poster

The basic premise: divorced father-of-two Jackson Curtis is spending the weekend camping with his two children, in an attempt to reconnect with them.  They travel to Yellowstone National Park to find the spot where Jackson used to camp with his former wife, but discover a fenced-off government installation in the same place.  Scientist Adrian somebody-or-other is there testing the temperature of the earth’s core, which apparently is turning liquid (first flaw: the earth’s core is actually liquid right now).  This liquification is caused by some type of neuron thing being sent out from solar flares from the sun, which are becoming bigger and bigger.  A scientist in India discovered it because the water in his well is now boiling.  The government decides to not tell the world, and meanwhile build four enormous “arks” for people to take refuge in when Armageddon happens.  In China, in the Himalayas, because obviously that’s the best place for them.

So yadda yadda the worst happens, faster than anyone predicted, the hero and his kids and ex-wife and her new boyfriend all drive to Las Vegas airport where they find a Russian tycoon and his Antonov 500 plane which just happens to be the only plane that can fly and they head toward China and the arks.  The plane crashes, they are rescued by a local monk whose brother works on the arks and has a plan to get them secretly on board, disasters happen, people die, there’s a moving speech by the scientist when one of the arks breaks and 100,000 people are about be left behind, the ark crashes into Mt Everest, our hero survives, and by this stage I just wanted everyone to shut up already and just DIE!

Honestly, the only good thing about this movie was that it eventually ended.

That’s nearly three hours I’m never getting back in my life.

7 responses to “Weekend Movie Review: 2012

  1. barb November 21, 2009 at 11:20 am

    I guess that’s an unlike. But I’ll bet you were wearing totally awesome shoes.

  2. Shmoo November 21, 2009 at 1:17 pm

    Thanks for the review, and for saving me $100 (tickets, pop corn, that fake butter congealed crap on top, and gigantic soda).

    I only wish you had seen War of the Worlds so I didn’t have to waste 2 hours of my life I’d never get back on that one.

  3. The Army of Four November 21, 2009 at 1:40 pm

    So….. how did you REALLY feel about it? 🙂

  4. debbie November 21, 2009 at 10:10 pm

    You forgot to say the dog was saved. Yay for the dog! I so wanted to see John Cusac get squashed in those huge cogs and see all his blood and guts get squished out. That would have been so cool.
    The special effects were good even if everything else sucked. And I had a good laugh….oh wait……it wasn’t a comedy…..but I thought……Oh never mind.

    I did warn you.

  5. Author November 22, 2009 at 12:28 am

    I haven’t seen this one ~ and probably won’t bother now. The special effects are often the best part of these films ~ it’a almost as if now they have the ability to use fantastic special effects they don’t bother with the storyline as much. They assume you’ll be so mesmerized you won’t notice the plot is weak. :sigh:

  6. jen November 22, 2009 at 10:24 am

    not a movie person so i’m definitely not seeing it.

  7. Trish November 22, 2009 at 8:25 pm

    I was going to see this because David and Margaret each gave it 3.5 stars. Is it really that bad? But I like John Cusack. And Amanda Peet. Oh well…

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